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We Must Stand For Something, Or We Will Fall For Anything

Blogs: #45 of 102

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Values are the principles that guide our conduct in relations to other people. They express how we think others ought to behave towards us. When we act out a value, we are doing a bit to make the world what we believe it should be, not necessarily what we believe it is. For example, many people cheat on their partners and get away with it. But if in our vision of an ideal world, spouses are truthful with one another, then, we will not deceive our partner. That's a value, a principle that guides our action regardless of whether we are happy about the potential consequences. Values are black and white, all or nothing in any given situation. If we really value honesty, then we will tell the truth in all situations, not just when it's convenient.

If truthfulness is a value for many of us than any lie we will tell, will cost us. Our self-esteem will be diminished by it and so our clarity about whom we are. Compromising our values can lead to a loss in our faith in us and in the world.

Since Values express our ideal of how relationships should be, a couple who shares values likewise shares a vision. When two people are looking at the same "big picture", joint decision making becomes easier. They agree on what outcome they want and have only to debate which alternative is most likely to lead to it.

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